cute

Folder Type from Emilio Gomariz on Vimeo.

found on motionographer.com

if i

had a million dollars
was kinder
was milder
was more likely to listen
talked less
thought deeper
was more disciplined
laughed more
cried more
smiled all the time
was more creative
was more pensive
was more spontaneous
was less judgemental
was courageously friendly
let my guard down

I would be a
better friend
writer
painter
graduate
missionary
wife?
lawyer
girlfriend
mom?
vegan
restaurant owner
cook
.
thank you for now. that's all i've got to pine over. and goodnight.

fjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfj

I don't know what it is, but this summer is all about nostalgia for me. I am feeling like I remember people and places and summer activities from days gone by and it makes me happy for a moment and leaves me with a weird empty feeling. I need to fill that void with gratitude, because summer hikes and bakini bikerides and moonlit walks and talks and friends and kisses...they aren't over. I don't know though, it always feels overwhelming to think i should "live life as if today is the last day of my life".

spider, dead.

it's okay to be sad sometimes. that's all part of life. i killed a spider on the wall tonight while separating the songs for the ward choir i lead. i wadded up a pile of "for the beauty of the earth" and squashed him dead. funny.

I love this band

Famous for 60's motown during the early 70's. they didn't get as big as they should have.....

What can I even say about today??

I learn so many things every day and I am ungrateful because I don't write them or think of them enough. It is so ungrateful. I take advantage of the gift that life is. I believe that today I learned to be more okay with who I am. I learned that everyone needs people. I learned that to love you need to be willing to be loved. I learned that hope doesn't come from us, but is a gift of God. I learned that to be strong you must see you are weak. And that prayers for yourself are much less effective than those offered by others, on your behalf.

Thank you, thank you for this day.

Making myself one, for once.

Readings make me think a lot when they are good. A recent funeral made my family members vulnerable enough to be honest and real with one another. The necessary respect that comes from truly needing someone and honestly asking them to be there because you trust them is something so beautiful. One would imagine this impossible in a family of strong wills. But miracles happen, even in tragic small airplane accidents.
There were tears in my eyes when the airmen who did fly-bys at johnny's wedding waved their wings at us, even though johnny himself was probably laughing at all of us for crying at his funeral.
What about family is so necessary to me, anyway? I realize lately that being my own best friend doesn't mean being completely individualistic and, therefore egotistic. I know how connected I am to other things and people. Everything is connected. Everything is beautiful. A rock or a flower. I need to be my own best friend and treat life as a thing that I don't control but that I live. I am thus more at peace and less at odds with the things that happen in it. Looking beyond the preconceived notions that have allowed me to make sense of things in the past. Or rather looking before them.
Imagine if you can just open a door, you will see an answer to a very important and vexing problem that is plaguing your consciousness. But all you really have to do is stop just before you open the door, and think about the feeling of discovery, the reason you are at the door and know that is the true answer you seek. The inbetween of your conscious thinking.


ps. yes